Understand you are not cleaning properly.

I have always been annoyed by rear end itchiness and discomfort. Like most people, I would use toilet paper or take a shower to clean my behind after using the restroom. However, this is an ineffective cleaning process which frustrated me since I felt like I wasn’t perfectly clean and would experience discomfort all day. I apologize for bringing up this unsavory topic, but if you got poop on your hands, would you clean it with dry toilet paper and feel comfortable? Of course not, you would wash your hands extensively with soap and water. So the first step to feeling comfortable is to properly clean yourself after each time you use the restroom.

Invest in a bidet or a shower hose.

The first step in alleviating discomfort around your bottom is to figure out a way to spray warm water towards your rear end so that you can properly clean yourself after using the restroom. While there are plenty of attachable bidet options for sale online, I don’t recommend these options because you can only use them while in the sitting position, which is not a natural position to defecate in. This means that you won’t be able to reach certain parts of your rear end with the water. The bidet is certainly a lot better than toilet paper, but it can still leave you feeling frustrated that you have not fully cleaned yourself. This is why I recommend you purchase a shower head with a hose instead.

A shower head with a hose will allow you to spray warm water up your rear end after you use the restroom in the most effective way possible. When you purchase your shower head, I suggest you get one that has the option to spray water in a jet stream setting. This means that it will shoot water at a high pressure through the central part of the shower head (view the image below). I also suggest you get a shower head with a hose that is at least 60 inches long, or long enough to where you can easily lay the shower head on the ground and still have some slack in the hose. I will explain further if you scroll down. (I will put some good shower heads for sale on this website, but you can buy one on Amazon or at Walmart).

This image comes from DeltaFaucet.com

Squat Properly while washing.

Once you get your shower hose, you need to get in the right position in the shower to properly clean yourself. What I do is I start off by squatting as low as I can with my knees forwards while on my toes. While I do this I keep the water coming out at a gentler setting and spray it towards my rear. It is good to start off gently and warm up the area you want to clean because if you start off with a jet pulse of water it can be painful. In this position you can spray the water from different angles to make sure you are cleaning as much area as possible.

Now that everything is warmed up, you can move to the next position in which you squat down as low as you can with your knees and toes pointing outwards and away from you. While you do this make sure your heels stay down on the ground. Now spray the water with the shower hose towards your rear end from different angles while you flex your butt muscles in a way as if you are pooping, and as if you are trying to hold it in (alternate between the two). Again, I apologize for being graphic, but this method works really well for completely cleansing your rear end. By the way, if you are elderly or disabled, do not put yourself in a position where you risk falling down and injuring yourself.

This method will change your life.

If you follow all the steps above correctly, you will feel like you are scratching an itch that you had your whole life. Whenever I go a long time without access to a shower head with a hose, I slowly get used to the discomfort that comes with not being able to properly clean myself after the restroom. Eventually when I go back to having a shower hose, it is so relieving. But wait there’s more! Cleaning your rear end is just step one to total rear end comfort.

Apply moisturizing anti-itch cream.

Although you are now properly cleaning your rear end, now you need to moisturize and repair any dry and damaged skin. Most anti itch creams and moisturizers will be ineffective and painful when applied to your rear end, so I came up with the Itchy Butt Cream which you can buy on this website. This cream will complete your journey towards rear end hygiene and comfort. It is made from natural ingredients, and there is no burning sensation when using it.